Crushed Spirit

So the pool is so much fun when we have friends with us but when we have gone alone there always seems to be a sad moment. Owen is happy to play with me but when there are a lot of kids his age he'd really rather play with them. However the majority of the time the other kid does not want to play. He will go up to the kid and ask "Hi I'm Owen, would you like to play." And either the kid ignores him, says no, or once spit in his face. WTF? This makes my blood boil and also makes me want to cry for him. His face sags and then I swoop in and tell him I will always play with him. I am not going to ignore all the wonderful kids that do play with him there and they have a wonderful time, just more often they don't. So usually we try to go with a friend so we can guarantee some fun times.

So today we went to the pool on our own. It was crowded but while we were in the big pool Owen did not look for one other kid to play with. Never tried. This is not like him. He always tries to find a kid to play with and is not picky, he will play with anyone who is willing. So we all three played together and had a lot of fun. Then he decided he wanted to go to the kiddie pool. So there was a couple older boys there that were just not that nice, strike one. Then there were three kids that only spoke Spanish so they didn't understand him, strike two. Then there was a 2 year old boy that was just not being that nice either, you know the common stole a toy from kid, strike three. Not to say my kid is an angel but man he was being very sweet and social and really trying. I kept trying to play with him but come on he wants other kids to play with.

So I have figured out that when Owen is being ignored by other kids he acts out. This can include screaming or roaring, getting in there way, squirting them with a water toy, etc. He has told us that he acts bad to get another kids attention before. Well I had to pull him out and take the squirt toy away and talk to him how some kids just don't want to play and others are just not nice. He went back in and another boy his age came in and had a shark. The boy dropped it and Owen found it and showed me. This is when my heart is crushed....So I tell him maybe he should get his barracuda and see if he wants to swim together. Owen looks at me with his sweet face and says "The boy will say no Mommy." OMG! How can a three year olds spirit already be crushed. I was really sad for him. I told him he should try and if the boy does not want to then it was that boys lost. Owen asked and YAY the boy and him played the rest of the time and had a lot of fun. Score!

When becoming a parent there are always things that come up that you never really thought you'd have to teach. And these social disappointments has definitely been one for me. Owen is a pretty social little boy and really seems to be happy to play with most anyone. He is very polite and a pretty good sharer (not to say all the time, he of course like all can be a huge brat). So in these situations I just don't understand why others just don't want to play. But like I said, their lose. But as a mother I will be sad for my little guy every time he gets that disappointed face because a friend or another kid does not want to play.